HORRORscopes for the week of Jan 8, 2024

Aries: Brace yourself, dear Aries, for the universe has decided to test your patience this month. Expect delays, setbacks, and a general feeling of frustration in all areas of your life. Your ambitious nature may lead you to take on too much, only to be overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of your tasks. Remember, the stars are not on your side, so take a deep breath and lower your expectations. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Taurus: Oh, Taurus, you stubborn creature. This month, your resistance to change will be put to the ultimate test. Prepare to have your…

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HORRORscopes for the week of Jan 1, 2024

Aries: Congratulations, Aries! This week, you will experience a series of unfortunate events that will make you question your life choices. Your fiery energy will be met with endless roadblocks, leaving you feeling frustrated and defeated. Remember, there’s nothing like a good dose of disappointment to keep your ego in check. Taurus: Ah, Taurus, your stubborn nature never ceases to amaze. This week, your determination will be met with an equal amount of resistance. Your goals will seem farther away than ever before, and your efforts will go unnoticed. But hey, at least you’ll have plenty of time to wallow…

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HORRORscopes for the week of Dec 25, 2023

Aries (March 21 – April 19): You’re in for an exciting month, Aries! Unfortunately, I don’t mean exciting in a good way. Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of frustration, disappointment, and missed opportunities. Just remember, it’s not your fault that the universe seems to have a personal vendetta against you. Taurus (April 20 – May 20): This month, Taurus, expect nothing but mediocrity. Your goals will remain out of reach, and your efforts will go unnoticed by everyone around you. It’s as if the cosmos wants to remind you that you’re just a small, insignificant speck in the grand…

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HORRORscopes for the week of Dec 18, 2023

Aries: Congratulations, Aries! This week, you will encounter countless obstacles that will test your patience and ignite your short temper. It’s almost as if the universe decided to play a little prank on you. But don’t worry, because in the end, all of your efforts will be completely futile. So go ahead, charge into battle like the brave warrior you are, only to be defeated by life’s unrelenting cruelty. Good luck! Taurus: Ah, Taurus, the most stubborn of all signs. This week, prepare yourself for a series of disappointments that will make you question the very essence of your existence.…

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