HORRORscopes for the week of Apr 24, 2023

Aries (March 21 – April 19): This week, your impulsive nature will lead you down a path of regret. Maybe think before you act for once? Just a suggestion.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Your stubbornness will reach new heights this week, making it nearly impossible for anyone to reason with you. Good luck with that.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Your indecisiveness will be at an all-time high this week, causing you to miss out on some potentially great opportunities. But hey, at least you’ll have plenty of time to ponder your choices!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Your emotional instability will be off the charts this week, making you a bit of a hot mess. Maybe take a break from socializing and just cry it out in the comfort of your own home?

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Your ego will be inflated to the point of no return this week, making it hard for anyone to be around you. Just remember, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Your perfectionism will be your downfall this week, causing you to stress out over every little detail. Maybe loosen up a bit and just embrace the imperfections?

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Your indecisiveness will be on par with a turtle’s pace this week, making it hard for anyone to make plans with you. Maybe just flip a coin or something?

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Your intensity will be at an all-time high this week, making others a little uncomfortable around you. Maybe tone it down a bit and try not to scare everyone away?

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Your impulsiveness will lead you down some questionable paths this week, but at least you’ll have some interesting stories to tell later on.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Your workaholic tendencies will cause you to neglect your personal life this week. But hey, who needs friends and family when you have a successful career, am I right?

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Your detachment from reality may cause you to forget about important deadlines or events this week. Maybe try writing things down for once?

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Your tendency to daydream may cause you to miss out on some important opportunities this week. Maybe try to stay present and focus on reality for a change?