HORRORscopes for the week of May 8, 2023

Aries: This week, you’ll find yourself in a constant state of agitation. Your usual fiery energy will be replaced with a simmering annoyance that will make you want to snap at anyone who crosses your path. Good luck with that.

Taurus: You’ll experience a sudden surge of laziness this week and will be tempted to skip out on all your responsibilities. This isn’t a good idea, but then again, when have you ever listened to good advice?

Gemini: Your usual silver-tongued charm won’t be working as well as it usually does. In fact, you’ll find yourself saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times. It’s like your mouth has a mind of its own, and that mind is determined to embarrass you.

Cancer: Your emotional state will be all over the place this week, leaving you feeling like a hot mess. Just remember, it’s not the end of the world if you cry in public. Everyone needs a good sob every now and then.

Leo: Your ego will take a hit this week when you realize that you’re not as amazing as you thought you were. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but hey, at least it’ll keep you humble.

Virgo: You’ll be hit with a wave of indecisiveness this week, making it impossible to make any decisions. Maybe just flip a coin and hope for the best?

Libra: Your usually charming personality will be replaced with a grumpy, irritable one. You’ll find yourself annoyed with everyone around you, but don’t worry, they’ll all still love you (somehow).

Scorpio: You’ll be feeling extra paranoid this week, convinced that everyone is out to get you. Spoiler alert: they’re not. You’re just being a little dramatic.

Sagittarius: Your usual sense of adventure will be replaced with a desire to stay in bed all day. Hey, sometimes the greatest adventure is just getting through the day.

Capricorn: Your usual workaholic tendencies will be replaced with a desire to do absolutely nothing. This won’t bode well for your productivity, but hey, sometimes you just need a break.

Aquarius: You’ll be feeling extra rebellious this week, and will be tempted to break all the rules. Just remember, there’s a reason those rules are there.

Pisces: You’ll be feeling extra sensitive this week, and will find yourself crying at the drop of a hat. Don’t worry, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s just a sign that you’re a Pisces.