HORRORscopes for the week of Oct 23, 2023

Aries (March 21 – April 19):
Congratulations, Aries! This week, you’ll continue to be impulsive and reckless. Your fiery nature will lead you to make some questionable decisions that will probably come back to haunt you. But hey, who needs long-term consequences when you can have short-lived excitement?

Taurus (April 20 – May 20):
Taurus, this week is all about stubbornness and resistance to change. You will cling to your comfort zone like a security blanket, refusing to try anything new. Your persistence in maintaining the status quo will ensure that life remains as boring and predictable as ever.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20):
Gemini, your dual nature will be in full swing this week. You’ll be torn between different options, unable to make a decision and leaving everyone around you frustrated. Your inability to commit will ensure that opportunities slip through your fingers, one by one.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22):
Cancer, get ready for an emotional rollercoaster! This week, you’ll be moody, sensitive, and overly dramatic. Your tendency to overthink every little thing will exhaust you and everyone around you. Remember, it’s okay to take a break from the waterworks once in a while.

Leo (July 23 – August 22):
Leo, your need for attention and admiration will be at an all-time high this week. You’ll go to extreme lengths to be the center of attention, even if it means stepping on others. Just remember, there’s a fine line between being confident and being an insufferable show-off.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22):
Virgo, your perfectionism will reach new heights this week. You’ll obsess over every tiny detail, driving yourself and those around you crazy. Your pursuit of flawlessness will only lead to disappointment and frustration when reality inevitably falls short of your impossibly high standards.

Libra (September 23 – October 22):
Libra, your indecisiveness will be on full display this week. You’ll waste countless hours weighing pros and cons, trying to find the perfect balance. Spoiler alert: there is no perfect balance, and your inability to make a choice will leave you stuck in a never-ending circle of uncertainty.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21):
Scorpio, your suspicious nature will be on overdrive this week. You’ll see hidden meanings and ulterior motives in every interaction. While your intuition may be strong, your tendency to be overly skeptical will push people away and leave you feeling isolated and paranoid.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21):
Sagittarius, your wanderlust will be insatiable this week. You’ll dream of traveling far and wide, but unfortunately, reality may have other plans. Your adventurous spirit will be met with a series of canceled flights, missed connections, and general travel mishaps. Maybe next time, Sagittarius.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19):
Capricorn, your workaholic tendencies will be in full swing this week. You’ll sacrifice sleep, social life, and any semblance of fun in the pursuit of success. Just remember, life is about more than just climbing the ladder. Maybe take a break and enjoy the view from where you are?

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18):
Aquarius, your rebellious nature will be on display this week. You’ll go against the grain, just for the sake of being different. But be careful, your desire to stand out may lead you to alienate yourself from those around you. Sometimes, it’s okay to conform a little.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20):
Pisces, your dreamy nature will be in full force this week. You’ll spend most of your time lost in your own thoughts, daydreaming about a better world. Unfortunately, reality will come crashing down, and you’ll be left feeling disappointed and disillusioned. Welcome back to planet Earth, Pisces.