Aries: Brace yourself, Aries, because the universe has a special treat in store for you this week. Prepare for a series of unfortunate events that will make you question all of your life choices. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, the universe will prove you wrong. Remember, the glass is not only half empty, but it’s also cracked and leaking all over your new carpet.
Taurus: Taurus, this week is all about disappointment and unfulfilled expectations. Your ambitious plans will crumble before your eyes, leaving you feeling defeated and wondering if you’ll ever achieve anything worthwhile. Don’t worry, though. Mediocrity looks good on you.
Gemini: Oh, Gemini, you never fail to disappoint. This week, your indecisiveness will reach an all-time high, leaving you paralyzed with choices you can’t make. Your friends and family will grow tired of your constant flip-flopping, and you’ll be left alone with your thoughts of what could have been.
Cancer: Get ready for an emotional roller coaster, Cancer! This week, you’ll experience a range of feelings from overwhelming sadness to intense anger. Your loved ones will be on the receiving end of your mood swings, but hey, at least they’re used to it by now.
Leo: This week, Leo, your ego will take a hit. Your grand plans and self-proclaimed greatness will be met with indifference from those around you. It’s time to come to terms with the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Shocking, I know.
Virgo: Virgo, your perfectionist tendencies will be put to the test this week. No matter how hard you try, things just won’t go your way. Your meticulous plans will crumble, leaving you in a state of disarray. Embrace the chaos, because order is just an illusion.
Libra: Libra, your desire for balance and harmony will be shattered this week. Chaos will reign supreme in all aspects of your life, leaving you feeling completely out of whack. Your attempts to find peace will be met with resistance, and you’ll be left longing for the days when everything made sense.
Scorpio: Scorpio, get ready for a week of secrets and betrayal. Your trust will be tested, and you’ll discover that the people you thought were on your side are actually working against you. Don’t worry, though. Your ability to hold a grudge will come in handy.
Sagittarius: Sagittarius, your wanderlust will be met with a series of travel mishaps and missed connections. Your adventurous spirit will be dampened as you find yourself stuck in airports and dealing with lost luggage. Just remember, the journey is never as exciting as you think it will be.
Capricorn: Capricorn, this week is all about missed opportunities and regret. Your cautious nature will prevent you from taking risks, leaving you wondering what could have been. Embrace the feeling of longing, because it’s the closest you’ll get to happiness.
Aquarius: Aquarius, your rebellious nature will land you in hot water this week. Your refusal to conform will lead to conflicts and alienation from those around you. Embrace your status as an outsider, because fitting in is overrated anyway.
Pisces: Pisces, your dreamy nature will be met with harsh realities this week. Your rose-colored glasses will be shattered, leaving you feeling disillusioned and lost. Remember, it’s better to live in the real world than to drown in your fantasies.