Aries: Your fiery nature will continue to burn out those around you. Keep pushing people away, because who needs friends anyway? Taurus: Your stubbornness will cause you to miss out on opportunities. But hey, at least you’ll get to say “I told you so” to yourself. Gemini: Your indecisiveness will lead to constant second-guessing and a never-ending cycle of self-doubt. Congrats on being your own worst enemy! Cancer: Your emotions will continue to control your every move. Just remember, crying in public is always a good look. Leo: Your need for attention and validation will never be satisfied. Keep striving…
Continue ReadingTag: Horrorscopes
HORRORscopes for the week of Jun 12, 2023
Aries: Congratulations, Aries. You’re going to have a terrible week. Your fiery energy won’t help you overcome the overwhelming feeling of failure and disappointment. Just remember that the universe doesn’t care about your ambitious goals. Taurus: As a Taurus, you’re known for being stubborn. This week, your stubbornness will lead you to make terrible decisions that you’ll regret for a long time. Don’t worry, though. You’re used to it. Gemini: You’re going to feel extremely indecisive this week, Gemini. But why bother making choices when everything will just end up being a disappointment anyway? Cancer: Your emotional side will be…
Continue Reading
HORRORscopes for the week of June 5, 2023
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): Honestly, Aries, I suggest you buckle up. Mars is in retrograde, and your usually “bold” spirit will more likely resemble a chicken crossing the road. Keep away from fire – both literally and metaphorically – unless you feel like getting burnt. Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): This week, Venus, your ruling planet, is hiding behind the moon. So take a hint, Taurus, and keep a low profile. Your stubbornness might just meet its match, most likely in the form of a self-checkout machine. Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Ah Gemini, the universe…
Continue Reading
HORRORscopes for the week of May 29, 2023
Aries: You’re going to have a great day today, Aries. Just kidding, your day is going to be about as exciting as watching paint dry. Don’t bother trying to accomplish anything, because the universe has already decided that you’re going to fail. Taurus: Tauruses, you might as well just stay in bed today. The stars aren’t aligned in your favor, and your efforts will be met with nothing but disappointment. Better luck tomorrow, if you’re lucky. Gemini: Today is a good day to stay away from any major decisions or life-changing events, Gemini. The planets have aligned to ensure that…
Continue Reading